The confidence man

The reign of the supermum has come to an end. I’d been doing really well, but a nagging cough and the relentlessness of 24/7 with the kids and no adult company did catch up with me. That said, even though I’m not feeling like Carol Brady re-incarnated, skipping to the park and other wholesome activities to feed my children macro-biotic organic wheat cakes (only kidding, I would never make that shit), I haven’t done too bad. There has been a good degree of “Let’s watch ABC Kids!!” but there has been no hiding in the corner and only a small amount of sobbing. There has also been baking cookies and trips to the indoor wave pool, the beach, luna park and the zoo. Actually, when I type it all out like that, it does seem pretty awesome so maybe the reign continues?

Anyhoo, Linus has been an absolute champ these past few weeks. He is a wonderful, capable boy but his incredibly sensitive nature is not the ideal mix with a speech impediment. I remember the first day at the speech pathologist when she made a remark about how Linus was reluctant to say a particular word, because it would be difficult for him. I was (stupidly) surprised that he realised. We had NEVER made an issue of his speech issues and I guess I deluded myself into thinking that my bright sensitive chap just wouldn’t have noticed that he doesn’t speak as others do. Ha!

So Linus lacks confidence and it has been very very difficult to get him to try anything a second time if the first try was unsuccessful. It is heartbreaking in many ways, because you KNOW he can do it, if only he would try 2 or 3 times but he would shut down and because highly upset and agitated if pushed, so we have largely let him be, and gently encouraged as much as we dare.

The last few weeks have brought a change in our man however. As I mentioned in my previous post, he has made an amazing breakthrough with his language, and it is almost as if a light has come on, “Hey! I CAN do things”. He has been playing with the Leapster more, when initially he would not persist past initial favours and has been spending hours, trying and trying again. I should be horrified at the screen time but instead I am delighted at the persistence he is displaying. He is learning to ride a bike, after months of first refusing to get on, and later refusing any attempt at peddling. And today, we went to Luna park and he went on ride after scary ride, completely unaccompanied, bold and confident and delighted.

It has been hard to see him limited by his reservations and I don’t know where this new found confidence comes from; if it is the speech therapy, from having me home with him for weeks of undivided attention or if it is just that he is getting older and bolder. But I do know that it is a wonderful gift and I hope it lasts.

f..f..f….Fabulous!

I thought I might lose it today. I’m still a law firm widow and it is looking like that will be the case for this weekend and beyond as well, plus I’m getting a bit crook and the kids wouldn’t go to sleep last night. Linus in fact gave me a fright. He was in our bed as Hazel was unsettled in the kids room and I went in there to plug my iPod into the computer, prompting Linus, who also should have been asleep, to head out with a cheery retort of “I’ll be back Mum!”. I was only going to be setting my ipod to sync so I didn’t argue at the time but once that was all working, I headed to our lounge to herd Linus back to slumber.

Except he wasn’t there.

We only have a 2 bedroom house and I’d passed the kitchen and bathroom to get to the lounge so he could only be in the kids’ room, which I went to check.

And he wasn’t there either.

At this point I’m mildly concerned because there really just isn’t anywhere else in the house he can be. I wander back down the hall calling his name just as Ash comes in the front door and I explain that I seem to have lost our son. At that point the side door opens and our son comes in from outside. Why on earth he felt the need to go out, into the dark, and the rain, at 10 o’clock at night is beyond me, but mysteries of Linus are many and varied.

But as I was saying, I’m tired and crook and cranky. I tried to con Hazel into a nap around 11am but she was having none of it so I piled everyone in the car, and headed for Southland. I’m not usually one to view a shopping centre as the height of fun family times but it has been raining now for days on end and I needed to be Not At Home. The kids were great and we had some nice lunch after which my son uttered the most beautiful words…

“Mummy. I’m so full!”

Linus’ articulation issues mean that he inserts consonants in words beginning with f, s and sh, so before today this sentence would have been, “Mummy. I’m so dull” (as in rhyming with full but starting with a ‘d’ sound, not telling me he is dimwitted). Our work with Suzie Pinches had got us to the point where Linus was actually able to say f words correctly if we modelled for him but he was not generalising, i.e. he was not spontaneously saying his ‘f’ words correctly.

But today, as we stood in the shoe store, Linus asked me if he could tell me something and then proceeded to quite deliberately articulate the ‘f’ in ‘full’. It was honestly like the moment that Hazel walked again for me, if not more astounding and uplifting. Linus is such a sensitive, self conscious boy and he has worked so hard to master this skill that my heart just burst with pride and admiration. It has been like a switch turned on as well as we have had many beautiful ‘f’s since then.

He just amazes me.

One small step for man, One giant leap for Hazel

Hazel is walking!!

For most of the first 5 weeks after her spica removal, Hazel’s hip has been VERY stiff and she hasn’t moved it normally it at all. I didn’t think she would be walking within 3 months as there was no way that her leg would even touch the ground if she stood, which she didn’t. The last week to 10 days have brought enormous change however as she started standing with support, standing without support and then walking with support, all very rapidly. I was so surprised at how suddenly things were moving along but even more so these past two days when she apparently decided the shifting sands and unsettling waves of the beach would be a great place to learn to walk again.

And so here she is…

Notice how I’m so excited to film her first steps that it is D (Linus’ friend) who actually calls out to her not to go alone into the waves. Don’t worry, I did run down there and grab her in time.

The other amazing achievement was my survival of the two days away at all. I’m a reluctant mother and have honestly found the transition to motherhood indescribably difficult. My husband has been working all hours lately and to my excitement, instead of turning into a a blithering mess of despair once left home alone with the kids, I coped fine, dare I say I actually enjoyed it!

Inspired by my new ability to channel June Cleaver, I decided that taking my kids, and a friend for Linus to our holidays house at Inverloch by myself was a marvelous idea. Undeterred by the first parent who refused to hand over custody of their little one for the night, I turned to family friends who, like me, I knew would be thankful for a kid free night. So with 3 car seats shoe-horned in like sardines in the back seat, we made for the golden sands and blue waters.

And it was glorious. I got sunburned to buggery and then couldn’t sleep and trying to get two four year olds, a toddler who can’t toddler, towels, buckets, drinks, sunscreen and a sun shelter the size of the Taj Mahal down to the sand was no easy feat but a truly wonderful time was had by all. The beach was stunning and watching the kids enjoy it was one of those simple joys.

I may survive this motherhood gig yet, although looking at the current state of the house, I’d best not speak too soon.

 

Old milestones in a new year

Hazel is standing again. She had been pulling up on furniture and the like but was holding her left leg out quite a way from her body, so it was more that she was standing only on her good leg, rather than her actually standing normally. Over the last couple of weeks, her leg has slowly moved such that she is now holding it much more beneath her, rather than out to the side.

A result of this is that I can see now that her left leg is now longer than her right. It is particularly noticeable at nappy changes, when I gently move her leg down for comparison, I can see her knees don’t align. I contacted the surgeon as I was concerned and he assures me that the leg difference is normal and only a result of the stiffness in the hip. He says that we don’t need to do anything at this stage and there is no need to worry which is a great relief of course. I’ve been very lucky that Mr Natrass is happy to take email questions and he is very quick to provide answers and reassurance to this anxious mum.

So now I’m less paranoid every time she gets up on two feet and I don’t think walking will be that far behind as she is already happy to walk if pushing something for support. It is funny that my nephew, who is nine months younger, is now learning to walk, just as Hazel is relearning. She will have learned to walk both before AND after him.